The Last Days on Mars

Ruairi Robinson, 2013

IMDB

2/5

On paper, The Last Days on Mars is a movie that I probably should have liked more than I did. A group of space explorers, led by Vincent Campbell (Liev Schreiber), stumbles upon an organic microbe on Mars that infects the astronauts and basically turns them into space zombies. Just the idea of space zombies is great. Not done a lot, a variation from the saturated horror sub-genre.

But Last Days is a film that's just lacking. Definitely not from a production standpoint. It's always amazing how, even bad space movies, always seem to have really elaborate production design. The spaceship and it's surrounding areas looks and feels authentic. You never are thinking that it's just a group of actors in space-suits sweating their asses off in a desert in Jordan (where it was actually filmed). You discover that their clock has basically run out on their mission, leaving them with an experience but with nothing really tangible in terms of a monumental discovery. This displeases them, particularly Kim (Olivia Williams). She was clearly hoping to be one of the explorers to really find something to bring back to planet earth. Something that would give them immortal status in the science world. When Marko (Goran Kostic) discovers microscopic life in the lab, he secretly dips out to get more samples. At this point the film really has you locked in, eagerly awaiting to see what is in the petri dish.

But the film becomes a far cry from Alien. Weak script is really to blame. This is a group of scientists, and nothing that ever really comes out of their mouth feels very scientific. When Vincent is lowering himself into a sinkhole, he sees some stalagmites. You would think his assessment of the organic matter would solicit some intelligent response, but instead he says something along the lines of "whatever it is, it's alive". Oh wow. Even Avatar managed to provide significantly more sophisticated dialogue when you were in that alien world. The film never manages to carve out it's own niche. It just becomes another horror film of the scary thing picking everyone off without any twists and turns. The film does manage to weave together an interesting conclusion. This is definitely a film that could be added to a list called "Bad movies that could have good sequels".

Honeymoon

Leigh Janiak, 2014

IMDB

1/5

The Sci-Fi/horror genre has become so offensively saturated with mostly copycat knockoffs of past classics, reusing old tropes and beating them to death. Regurgitated themes. Re-purposed cliches. Sometimes when you watch something that feels like a huge waste of your time, making you think that maybe its all been done before. That maybe there aren't any new ideas in this genre. But then every now and then, something will float to the surface. Something will stand out. Films like The Conjuring, The Cabin in the Woods or Insidious will appear and it gives us all hope. It gives us hope that maybe there can be new things done with the seemingly forlorn genre.

Unfortunately, Honeymoon doesn't fall into this category of refreshing and unique horror films that are trying new things. Instead it falls into that category of pretty good acting spoiled by an awful script and amateur direction. Janiak tries to make too much with too little here. This one can be filed under the category of predictably stagnant alien films. It's a bit irritating too, because you are likely delighted to see Rose Leslie on screen after seeing her in Game of Thrones or Downton Abbey. She has already proven herself a good actress while working with good material. But she doesn't have a whole lot to work with here. In fact, her Bea character and husband Paul (Harry Treadaway) characters are actually quite annoying. You spend the first 20 minutes of the film watching them groping each other like a couple of spider monkeys. To be expected on ones honeymoon. But we aren't going into this movie hoping to spectate a weekend of lovemaking. That's another kind of movie that we can watch some other time. That one will probably be better directed as well. Because you will have two minutes of foreplay and casual dialogue and they will get down to business. Honeymoon takes a lot of time getting to where it wants to, when most of the audience will probably know where it's going the entire time. The decision making on the parts of Paul's character are frustrating. The most obvious of them all is his inability to get Bea in the car and away from the cabin. Her condition continues to decline, his solution is to fondle her more and tell her how much he misses her. His character seems to be desperately horny, like he should have been in Deadgirl and not Honeymoon. Honeymoon feels like a weak ripoff of a Stephen King story with too much build-up and an insufficient reveal.

Grabbers

Jon Wright, 2012


3/5

A small Irish community is is shaken up when an alien creature lands in the sea. As residents begin to vanish, a newly-paired Guard duo tries to find its weakness. Upon discovering that it feeds off of blood, they attempt to poison their own blood by consuming large amounts of alcohol at the hometown pub.

In this silly beer-soaked sci-fi horror, Grabbers possesses some of beats of similarly-themed Attack the Block but also has some of the laughs-in-the-middle-of-chaos of Shaun of the Dead. The lead characters are easy on the eyes newbie good-girl Lisa Nolan (Ruth Bradley) and jaded lonely sad-sack Ciaran O'Shea (Richard Coyle). Nolan can't wait to fulfill her duties as Guard while O'Shea can't wait to wade through the monotony of his day, so his liver can do the bulk of his daily work at the local watering hole. When the two are assigned together early on there's a bit of tension between the two that makes you anticipate the predictable shift to romance. It doesn't take long to introduce the antagonist alien sea-beast (the first scene actually). Introduced at first using the effective what you don't see is more scary technique, when you it does finally show itself it's not disappointing. As the town bands together to fight it off using their best tool, their ability to put down the pints. The normally quiet town gets a shot in the arm when the beast arrives, and the sense of inebriated community between them all is inviting and amusing. Although the film may push the Irish stereotypes, as soon as "The Irish Rover" starts playing in the pub you wish you were right there with them singing along, Guinness in hand.

A film that could quickly become distracting with lame CGI and poor acting really isn't at the end of the day. There's impressive camera work involved, a fitting score, and a medium-sized cast that really deliver satisfying performances. The lack of a back-story and rush to create a romance between the two Guards feels a bit far-fetched, but then again its a movie about a giant alien squid who pukes up drunkards so who is really judging it on that level? Besides, there are moments in the film where it could venture down over-used roads and it actually pulls back. For what the movie is it's good. It knows what it is, and what it needs to accomplish.